So, these thoughts have just been plagueing my mind as of late: what makes one whole? I have friends, (or at least i hope i do), I have a loving family, albiet a hard time getting that, I have many talents, overall a great life or so ive heard, but i just don't feel complete; happy; fulfilled. Yeah sure, when I did have a girlfriend I was a little happier, but things were rather the same. I find it dangerous to put all your happiness into other too, because if your only happy because your with your girlfriend, or with friends and such, what happens when things go sour between you? I made the mistake of putting all my happiness in my girlfriend, and when that ended, and boy did that end badly, i had nothing left. Because I'd made her my everything.
But even so, I never felt complete. No matter how good a life I seem or appear to have, it just doesn't feel like it. and whats the point of having something great if you can't see it; can't use it? I know I have these loving people in my life, I know I have all this hope with my wonderful God given talents, but I just can't seem to see past the bad, and why should I have these talents if most of the time I can't use them? I get home from a shitty day at school, and the last thing I can think of doing is drawing or playing guitar or writing. (let alone homework T_T) I just can't seem to enjoy these things; find fulfillment in anything; feel whole.
So I guess I ask you, what makes you whole?
Signing off,
~Nattoons
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"Never make someone your everything, because when they're gone you will have nothing"
-anonymous
don giv up on ppl. u can go thru life not trusting in ne1 cos "living is a problem, cos everything dies" but then u'll miss out on the gr8 feelins like love (& lust). Recently I discovered that bein "whole" is overrated. Being whole is about bein part of a life with other ppl in it where u rely on each other. Read Bruce Perry's book: The boy who was raised as a dog- Chptr called Healing Communities- pg 233 onwards. Needing each other is normal. Trying to become self-sufficient n whole- pfft!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty btw. There is no need to be. We feel what we feel. Accept it for what it is.
mm, its just the problem with that is when i am relying on other people and relying on them it still doesnt seem to work T_T but I'll keep on trying. thanks for the advise~
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